So I think I finally had my "ah ha" moment! Yes I think it is true. After 26 (almost 27) years of life I finally had a revelation. I realized that I can no longer take care of everyone else without also taking care of me. Yes some of you might laugh and think to yourself that is just common sense, but for me this has ALWAYS been a struggle. So this year I am going to focus on making myself happy as well. That means working on my undecorated house which drives me bonkers, taking some alone time, and the biggest elephant in the room- my WEIGHT!
Ugh... that's right it is the dreaded word, weight! My journey with my weight is probably your typical story. Most of my life I have been thin or average weight, but I never saw it that way until my weight became a struggle. I met my husband at 16 years old (115 lbs), married at 20 (105 lbs), pregnant at 21 (170 lbs at delivery), 2 months after delivery (130 lbs), pregnant with #2 (202 lbs at delivery), start of 2012- baby #2 is 3 year old (186.6 lbs) After being a stay at home for 3 years now I have really packed on the pounds. It has been the biggest blessing in my life to stay home and watch my children grow, but it has also been the biggest cause of my weight gain. I feel like because I was thin for so long that when people see me for the first time in months it is the only thing they can focus on.
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| this is a photo of my husband and I when we started dating. (me-16 years old, hubby-19 years old)  |
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| Our friend Mike and I in Clearwater, FL for Phillies Spring Training (about 20 years old) |
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| I am in the black sweater down in front. Christmas 2011 (26 years old) |
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| My Beautiful Family! |
So this year I am taking control. Some of our friends decided to start a "Biggest Losers" competition and when I heard about it I knew I had to join them. So on Tuesday, January 3rd we had our very first weigh in... dun dun dun and I was of course the fattest girl in the group weighing in at 186.6 pounds. Oddly this was not at all surprising or embarrassing for me like you would think. I knew I was overweight and I also knew that I wasn't going to continue to be. I remember leaving the weigh in that night thinking well at least I won't be the fattest girl at the end of this. It was a surprisingly comforting feeling to see my weight and to have everyone else see it. It was like it was finally out there and everyone didn't have to keep tip toeing around the topic anymore.
Here is how the contest works. The start date was January 3rd and the final weigh in is the first week in September, which gives me 8 months to really figure this weight loss thing out. We are also having a weigh in every other month. The winner of each weigh in is determined by your percentage of weight lost, just like on the show. I really want to win it and take back the control over my weight and my health.
My goal is 7 lbs a month for each of the 8 months for a 56 pound loss, which makes my goal weight 130 lbs. My plan to get there is to eat often and to eat smaller healthy options. I am also going to make the time to exercise for 30 minutes a day. So far I have been doing decent, but I must say this is A LOT tougher then I had thought it would be. I tend to be a binge eater I think. I am usually so crazy busy during the day that I never eat and then when I do get 5 free minutes to eat something, I eat EVERYTHING and none of it is usually healthy stuff. I have been getting much better at this, but this has been my life for 3 years now and it is definitely a habit that I am going to have to train myself not to do. As for the exercise, I am trying my best. I signed myself up for a 5K on March 18th which is really motivating me, but has also made me realize that I am horrible at running at that I am terribly out of shape. It has gotten easier over the month, but I'm still crossing my fingers I can actually finish the 5K. (I will keep you posted)
Here is the update on my weight... I started one month ago at 186.6 pounds and as of today I weigh......... drum roll please........ 175.8 pounds. Woohoo!!!!!! I made my goal of the 7 pounds a month plus a little extra and I must say it feels GOOD!!!!! I have had my little hiccups along the way, but I am trying to keep myself focused on the big picture. I know I can do this and I know that I WILL do this! Wish me luck!!!!
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